When I was younger, I feared going to church because I would have to be separated from my parents. Unfortunately, this fear lasted for many years. I began to sit with my parents at church where the other adults were. Eventually, I stopped going to church when I was 6. In middle school, I became insecure about the fact that I didn’t have any particular hobbies, interests, or passions. I didn’t know how to determine my self-worth. I began to worry about my future as I couldn’t even determine what was valuable to me. I was insecure about myself, and naturally, I adopted a negative attitude and distanced myself from everybody. Before I knew Jesus, I thought it was normal to live such an anxious life.
One thing God gave me from this pandemic was a pause on my fast-paced life. Only then did I begin to turn to Jesus. I didn’t have much trouble or doubt when I ﬁrst accepted him into my life. But I could never feel God’s presence; I never felt a moment when I realized that God had answered my prayers until just a few weeks ago. Last year, I was still hiding from everybody, trying to grow as a Christian by myself. I prayed to God that I would overcome my fear of interacting with new people and that I could start going to church. This was in grade 9 and now I am in grade 10. I think God answered my prayers through my youth shepherd who encouraged me to go to church. I remember last May I joined an online youth house church meeting for the ﬁrst time. I’m so grateful for the other members and my youth shepherd for making me feel welcomed. A bible verse from GPS that was very meaningful to me is Revelations 3ʧ20. It says, “See! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” All this time I had been seeking for something to make me feel complete. That something was in front of me all along, and all I had to do was welcome it into my life.
After making the decision to follow Jesus, questions I used to ask have become much clearer, like who I am, what I’m going to do in the future, and what my values are. The past version of me who hated social interaction now looks forward to every social event. I’ve become more hopeful for the future, too. I know that I want to continue to be a part of a community that is connected through God. I truly love the church community I am a part of.